The Gnome Situation: Alleged Encounters & Sightings

Posted by on March 9, 2016 ⋰ 3 Comments

Folks, we need to talk.

Apparently, there’s a situation brewing that, until a few days ago, I wasn’t aware of. That’s right: Humanity is being attacked by gnomes.

A gnome, to give a brief description, is a fantastical underground creature, short in stature, that is usually depicted as wearing a tall pointy hat. They’re thought to be purely mythological, first appearing in the 16th Century with the works of alchemist Paracelsus, who described them as “earth elementals.” Other cultures, however, have their own variations on gnome-like mythology.

Nowadays, some of you may even be familiar with the common garden gnome, a simple porcelain ornamental designed to add a bit of color and liveliness to your outdoor vegetable garden.

But are gnomes real? And can they be trusted?

Gnomes Sightings On The Rise

Believe it or not, several reported gnome sightings have occurred throughout Mexico and South America (specifically Argentina), where they are called duendes (fairy- or goblin-like creatures).

In 2011, Inexplicata shared a story out of Santiago del Estero telling of a “striking imp” that would leap out of darkened places and “pummel” people. It was a described as a “dwarf” wearing “an enormous hat,” and the situation got so bad that police even warned people not to go out walking alone at night.

Here are just a handful of other reported gnome sightings in recent years.

Guemes, Argentina

In 2008, reports surfaced that a small town in Argentina was being terrorized by a gnome, or duende, wearing the aforementioned tall pointy hat. This had gone on for quite a while in Guemes, but it wasn’t until someone captured the following footage that their struggle gained international attention.

In the video, you can see a group of boys talking while one films with his cell phone. They suddenly get quiet when they hear “a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones.”

When they turn to see what it was, they find something that truly terrifies them: a dancing gnome. The last thing we hear are their horrified screams.

Unfortunately, the footage is too dark and blurry to discern the color of the dancing gnome’s hat. We may never know the truth.

Gnome Crossing the Street

In a similar encounter, a group are hanging out in the middle of a road, themselves dancing, when they see a gnome shuffle across. This video also ends with the haunting screams of the victims.

Gnome Attack In Mexico

Finally, here we see a group of people kicking a ball around in their backyard. One of them goes to pick it up, when he sees a very tiny gnome jump out and scurry away. The terror is palpable.

The Gnomes Are Coming to Get You

Image: Flickr/Kārlis Dambrāns via CC by 2.0

As you can see, gnomes are a real threat. I don’t know what they want or why, in some cases, they are attacking people. Perhaps we have infringed on their gnome rights in some way.

Whatever the case, remember to always be vigilant. Do not walk alone in gnome-infested territory at night. Stay safe out there!

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Post by Rob Schwarz

Rob Schwarz is a writer, blogger, and part-time peddler of mysterious tales. He manages Stranger Dimensions in between changing aquarium filters and reading bad novels about mermaids.


3 Replies to “The Gnome Situation: Alleged Encounters & Sightings”

  1. I can vouch for the veracity of these sightings. I see gnomes all the time and those little suckers are fast–you’re not going to catch one of them unless he wants to be caught. And they’re smart. I tried the “food under a box held up with a stick” trap, and nada-zip-zilch. And when I came back the next morning to check, the box was still held up by the stick but the food was gone. And plus they spit at you, just like camels.

    If anybody has any ideas on how to get one of them, please post it in these comments. I’m getting fed up with these little assholes. They’re overstepping their boundaries and need to be taken down a notch or two for their own good and the! good of mankind. Gnome, gnome, go home!

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