If you had in your possession a demonic toaster, but it made pretty good toast, would you keep it?
That was the conundrum June O’Brien faced back in the late 1980s. You see, she had a toaster. A perfectly ordinary two-slice toaster. But, as she explained during an interview on The Today Show back in 1988, the toaster had a dark side.
It not only served toast; it served Satan.
“Now this one,” O’Brien said as she held up a demonic piece of toast to Sun reporter Richard Dominick, “Can you see that, Richard? Satan Lives. Just terrible.”
She said the first indication the toaster was possessed came when a deep voice emitted from the part that read “Put One Slice.” The voice said, “I Am The Devil.” From then on, it was a special kind of kitchen nightmare.
Asked if the toaster was still possessed at the time of the interview, O’Brien admitted they continued to have trouble with it. At which point, to demonstrate, she tried to insert another slice of bread. It wouldn’t go in. “It seems to be aware,” she said, shaking her head. When the toaster finally relented, she pushed it away, perhaps knowing what was about to happen.
A pillar of flame erupted toward the ceiling.
“Why have you kept this toaster?” Dominick asked, the only question remaining. “Well, Richard, when all is said and done,” she said, “It makes good toast!”
June O’Brien’s unusual story was featured on The Today Show on May 4, 1988, as part of a short featurette exploring tabloids and how seriously people should take them. The whole thing’s worth a look — it covers a few other odd stories, like the one about the Japanese woman who had her body cryogenically frozen, and thawed out 25 years later.
As the Today Show report pointed out, she suspiciously gained weight during the process.
Richard Dominick covered that story, as well, and gave his analysis of the situation: “I don’t know,” he said, “I think that what happened was they dehydrated her body, deep fried it, deep freezed her body, and I guess when they added water, I guess like you would instant coffee, she got a little heavier.”
Dominick also covered the story about a Howdy Doody doll that came to life and saved a drowning man in Skokie, Illinois. “Just as I was about to black out,” the man recalled, “I felt small hands lift me out of the water, onto the ice, and when I came to, there was just my dummy Howdy, all wet next to me, and nobody else was around.”
Dominick would later go on to become executive producer of The Jerry Springer Show.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, a living Howdy Doody doll? A demonic toaster that prints Satan Lives merchandise? Ha ha! These people are just having a laugh!
But in the immortal words of an old English rock band, is it really so strange?
