time travel, parallel universes, and other useful illusions
What do you do when you run out of gravel? Well, sometimes you can’t just run down to the gravel store and buy some, so you turn to alternative methods. Say, bulldozing an ancient Mayan temple. That’s what a road-building company in Belize recently did. In order to retrieve gravel to fill a road, the …
Continue reading “Company Bulldozes Mayan Temple, Possibly Awakens Old Ones”
Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation today. As soon as I heard this, I knew exactly what would follow. You see, there’s something called the Prophecy of the Popes. Some attribute it to Revelations, others to Nostradamus (who indeed had his own prophecies regarding the popes). But the origin of this particular prophecy lies with …
Does anyone know how to get a refund on a $2 million underground bunker? Oh.
“I went to great lengths to get that legendary mask. When I finally had it…I could sense the doom of a dark omen brewing. It was that unwelcome feeling that makes your hair stand on end.” – The Happy Mask Salesman Oh, we don’t have much time, now.
In 10 days, I’ll stop talking about the Mayan apocalypse. I promise. We’re not there yet, though, so let’s take a look back at all the doomsday stuff we’ve witnessed over the past year, and what’s going on right now. It’ll be…fun? Well, as fun as the end of the world can be.
You know, the word Apocalypse is actually taken from the Greek apokalyptein, meaning to uncover, disclose, reveal or, in general terms, to “a revelation of something hidden.” In fact, the last book of the New Testament, the Revelation of John, was actually titled the Apocalypsis Ioannou, or the Apocalypse of John. Today, the term is …
Continue reading “U.S. Government Responds To Mayan Doomsday”
Last week, the Russian government issued a statement regarding the forthcoming Mayan apocalypse, reassuring its citizens that everything is going to be all right. Well, except for “blizzards, ice storms, tornadoes, floods, trouble with transportation and food supply, breakdowns in heat, electricity and water supply.” (Might want to work on your reassuring skills, guys). Actually, …