Keanu Reeves hangs in the Tardis

Keanu Reeves Addresses Immortality Rumors

As we all know, Keanu Reeves is an immortal vampire masquerading as an ordinary human being. We’re on to him. It’s established. The deception that he’s anything other than an ageless, regenerating time lord is forfeit. We know the truth, now. And yet, he persists with the charade.

Time Travel Proof Circa 1995

Time Travel “Evidence” Discovered In 1995 Boxing Footage

What did I say, time travelers? All those years ago? What’s the number one rule of time travel that every wannabe chrononaut just can’t seem to follow? No cell phones. It’s a simple request, but clearly time travelers have respect for neither space nor time. You see, yet again, proof of their temporal gallivanting has …