What to Do If You Receive a Mogwai for Christmas

Well, Christmas Day has come and gone, at least from where I’m sitting. But now we have to deal with the aftermath: wrapping paper clean up, return policies, traffic. And then there’s what to do with those gifts that are perhaps a little out of the ordinary.

You see, during this time of year, one of the most popular Christmas presents is a furry little thing called a Mogwai. They can be fun, but if you’re not careful, they can also become quite problematic.

Luckily, Pete Beringer of the Kingston Falls Animal Services website has a few tips that should help your holiday stay a happy one.

Tip One: “Don’t get a Mogwai for Christmas.”

A Mogwai may seem like a great family pet, but looks can be deceiving
A Mogwai may seem like a great family pet, but looks can be deceiving

“Getting a Mogwai is probably one of the worst things you can do, especially during the holidays,” says Beringer. This is because Mogwai have a nasty habit of, well, changing. “They’re the first stage of a very complicated process of metamorphosis,” he explains, and this can lead to unexpected results.

After all, being the creation of a scientist on a distant alien planet, Mogwai can be somewhat confounding for those of us here on Earth.

That’s why Beringer urges caution before bringing one into your home, or giving one as a gift. “Get a dog. Get a cat. Get a Furby. Literally anything else would be a better idea.”

“There are some rules…”

However, if you absolutely must have a Mogwai, there are three simple rules you’ve got to follow:

  1. Keep your Mogwai out of the light; sunlight can kill him
  2. Don’t give him any water, not even to drink
  3. Most importantly, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight

Despite these guidelines, time and again families have found themselves in serious trouble. Accidentally dropping one into your bathtub can lead to a house full of Mogwai, and feeding one after midnight can be absolutely disastrous. “You’d be surprised what kind of mess happens if you forget any of this,” says Beringer, “The Kingston Falls Christmas riot of 1984? That wasn’t a riot.”

So, if you find yourself in possession of one of these magical Mogwai, remember the above tips. Oh, and happy holidays!

Rob Schwarz

Writer, blogger, and part-time peddler of mysterious tales. Editor-in-chief of Stranger Dimensions.