Strange Patents: Full Body Teleportation

What’s this?

It’s an image from an actual patent for “full body teleportation.”

Filed on September 29, 2004, the patent described an invention that “teleports a human being through hyperspace from one location to another using a pulsed gravitational wave traveling through hyperspace.”

That’s two hyperspaces in the same sentence.

This is serious.

Human VorticesWhat’s even more interesting is what led to this “invention.”

According to the patent, the inventor “personally experienced a full-body teleportation while walking to the bus stop.” That’d be Figure 1, the image up there of an individual instantly “teleporting” from one location to another.

An airplane was passing overhead, and the future inventor theorized that it generated a gravitational wave, which made the teleportation possible.

And so he set out to recreate this phenomenon, compiling the necessary devices and mathematics, and eventually filing the patent I speak of today.

The experience was, if I were to guess, the equivalent of Doc Brown knocking his head on a sink and having the idea for the flux capacitor.

And, probably, just as real.

The inventor also describes another patent, for something called a Magnetic Vortex Wormhole Generator, that has (allegedly) already been developed.

“Using this generator,” he says, “It was found that smoke blown through one side of the coil does not appear on the other side of cylindrical coil.

“The smoke flows through the wormhole and appears in a hyperspace co-dimension. It was this experiment that resulted in making first contact with the androids of the Grey aliens who told me, in a remote viewing session, that ‘We saw you blowing smoke into hyperspace.'”

Unfortunately for the inventor, at the time of this post, it doesn’t look like his patent for the Full Body Teleportation System has been granted.

“It is the object of this invention to teleport a human being from one location to another by creating a pulsed gravitational wave traveling through hyperspace that asymmetrically compresses and expands the quantum wells of the human energy being.”

Click here to read the entire patent application, and check out this link to view it in PDF form (which includes the images).


Rob Schwarz

Writer, blogger, and part-time peddler of mysterious tales. Editor-in-chief of Stranger Dimensions.