Culture

Sony Releases Details On the ‘World’s First Ghost Catching Device’

Check the date: It’s April 1. And you know what that means.

Sony has released a new video showcasing their latest “invention”– The Proton Pack™. It is, as they say in the accompanying press release, the world’s first ghost catching device. And that’s a Sony guarantee.

Let’s see the rundown:

“The Proton Pack™ is equipped with a state-of-the-art, miniaturized superconducting synchrotron, which accelerates injected protons from a hydrogen plasma cell. Superconducting temperatures are maintained by a liquid helium reservoir, and an active cryocooler ensures that operational time vastly exceeds that available from a cryogen dewar alone. Adaptive beam-steering technology guides the proton beam to an ergonomic wand, which doubles as a beam-halo tuning cavity to provide maximum down-range accuracy. The backpack form factor allows built-in psychokinetic grounding to the user’s spinal column, eliminating spectral noise feedback loops.”

Oh, okay.

According to Sony President and CEO Kaz Hirai, “The perfection of the Proton Pack, long a dream of the world’s greatest engineers since first pioneered by Dr. Egon Spengler of Columbia University, is an example of Sony’s relentless pursuit of innovation. It absolutely delivers the wow factor that is so important to our company mission.”

Can’t wait to try it out for myself!

Rob Schwarz

Writer, blogger, and part-time peddler of mysterious tales. Editor-in-chief of Stranger Dimensions.