You know, it’s almost Halloween. That means witches and vampires and werewolves and those chewy peanut butter candy things in black and orange wrappers. It also apparently means Christmas tree displays at Macy’s (what?!).

Speaking of weird things, I thought it was unfortunate earlier this year when eBay banned the sale of curses, spells, and other “intangible” oddities. I found the idea of demon-infused rings strangely fascinating, and people selling their souls? Bizarre. But even without the magical hexes and love potions, there’s still a ton of weird stuff available on eBay.

In fact, here’s eight things you can pick up, just in time for All Hallows’ Eve.

1. A Mummified Cat

Okay, so the first one is a bit gross. It’s a…mummified cat? Preserved, anyway. It was found “under a[n] old house from the wild west days.” Oh, and you get a “bonus two more mummified cat heads and one also has some spine and paw with him.” Sounds like a deal!

2. A Book Of Shadows

A Book of Shadows is a large book containing magic spells and rituals, typically of the Neopagan and Wiccan variety. It’s an essential tool for any aspiring witch. This one is hand made, and has a very nice “Double Dragon” design on the front (Billy and Jimmy Lee not included)

3. A Ghost Trapped In A Bottle

Oh, I don’t know if there’s actually a ghost trapped in there. But let’s see what the seller has to say:

“This bottle was in my grandpa’s possessions when he died, it had been stored in the attic.
My dad found it a few months ago while he was clearing it out. It was surrounded by some rosary beads next to a picture of the Virgin Mary & baby Jesus. As you can see it’s got rather dusty. I’d thought about cleaning it off but I think it’d be a shame, I think it looks really cool.
My dad has given me permission to offer the bottle for sale. He says he doesn’t think there’s anything in it, he’s kind of a skeptic, although he wouldn’t let me open it in our house. I think the liquid is holy water although I can’t be sure.

The house my dad grew up in was kind of creepy, and he said he’d been frightened a few times by noises and bangs, although he can’t remember seeing any actual ghosts. For a time my grandma was very scared though, whatever it was had brought her to tears on several occasions. She wanted to move house, she was having nightmares all the time and it was bringing her close to, what I guess nowadays we’d call a nervous breakdown. He has a vague memory of when he was young, a priest (catholic) visiting the house and praying with his parents around the house and performing some kind of ceremony in the kitchen.

He says that when he was older, my grandpa had told him about how they used to have problems in the house, that someone had died there a few generations ago. There was an abusive father who had drowned his child in the sink, accidentally, while trying to punish him. His wife had committed suicide soon after and they thought the ghost of the woman and child had stuck around in the house, and they had scared my grandma half to death. She had heard the sound of a child’s screaming a few times, and seen a apparition of the mother stood over the sink crying.

My grandpa had said that when the priest came, he had performed an exorcism and the ghosts had been trapped inside an old poison bottle. After that, the noises and apparitions stopped and my grandma started sleeping peacefully again. My dad never knew what had happened to the bottle until he found it in the attic the other month. I guess they couldn’t think of anywhere else to put it. Or knowing my grandpa, he’d left it there temporarily and then forgotten about it!”

Well, that settles it.

4. Basic Ghost Hunter Kit

Everything we need to get started with ghost hunting is right here. I’m talking a voice recorder, an electromagnetic field meter, a motion detector, and a flashlight.

Wait…no PKE meter? Forget it.

5. Black Candles

Ah, yes. The black candle. An essential ingredient for many spells and especially the conjuration of djinns and demons. (Disclaimer: djinn and/or demon conjuration sold separately and not recommended).

6. A Ouija Board

I know what some of you are thinking — stay away from the Ouija board! It can open gateways into our world for evil entities to pass through and, I don’t know, eat all our Kentucky Fried Chicken.

But it’s hard for me to turn down hand made crafts. This isn’t your typical Hasbro affair. It’s unique. (Speaking of which, given the Ouija board’s sinister reputation, isn’t it odd that it’s sold as a children’s board game?)

7. A Crystal Ball

For those times when political debate polls are getting you down and you just want to see the light at the end of the election season tunnel. A crystal ball may be for you. Then again, you may not need a crystal ball to see the future.

8. A Vampire Stake

Last but certainly not least is this very old hand made vampire stake. No, really.

According to the item page, it was “probably used.”

“This summer, we were cleaning up the farm in Pennsylvania. (I don’t want to say just where, but George Washington slept nearby). In a box with tools from the early1800′s, we found these old stakes. Mom says they were probably for something on the farm, but I started thinking….. the old farm dates from the 1700′s and not a single human or animal has ever been lost to a vampire! Great-great-great-great,etc. grandpa apparently knew how to manage and was ready for any problem.

This stake is rather short, so your aim must be good. It is hand hewn – 6″ long and 3″ in circumference. Not right? I have 4 other sizes and shapes that will take care of 99% of all vampires. The stake is nicely carved with an knife mark or two. The end where you pound is a bit old and splintered. The white stuff is probably spider web, which I’ll pick out if you ask. The point is blunted – probably hit bone last time it was used. Any blood has been washed off. Guaranteed to be Really Old – the farm has not been cleaned up for a long, long time, but of course I’m not doing carbon dating or anything on the stake. Lots of photos, so you can see what you are getting!

If vampires are not a problem, it will look great as part of your Halloween decor.”

I ask you: When are vampires not a problem?

And there you have it. I’m sure you can find more if you look, but this is where our strange eBay journey ends.

Or. Does. It?